So on Oct. 5th this year, I had an ultrasound for what I thought would just be an ovarian cyst, as it had been before. Instead I got a phone call that I needed to go for an MRI. Still thinking this was not a big deal, I asked a few friends to pray that I would have peace as I embarked on this next step.
The MRI was on Oct. 19th. I had heard that many people hated MRI machines because they were claustrophobic. I didn't mind it at all, I could have gone to sleep it was so soothing. I'm not 100% sure I didn't! Someone told me a hysterical story of a woman who, using her high heels, dug her way out of the machine while it was running, her gown ending up over her head when she finally broke free at the bottom. I'm sure that the technician's never forgot her!
Again, I got a call that they needed to do a CT Scan for a better picture of what I now knew was a "mass" on my left ovary. I was still sensing God's peace each step of the way, vthe Bible calls it 'peace that passes understanding', which it truly was. For a CT Scan, you need to drink something that looks like thick milk, but tastes like 'berry'. Not any berry I am familiar with, that is for certain. I looked at it, poured some in a glass and said to myself, 'Karen, you are a grown woman, you can do this.' Well, this grown woman has a very bad gag reflex and it was a matter of sipping and praying to get any of that drink in...and very promptly some of it came back out. So I took what remained to the test so they could see how much I did get in. Luckily, it was not all that was required, they had an injectable dye. Whew!
On my way to work the morning that I had received word my stepmom had lost her battle with pancreatic cancer, I got a call from my doctor's office. I asked, 'now what?'. "We're sorry, Karen, but we see something on your spine, might just be a blood clot. You need a bone scan".
I saw a gynecologist the day before my bone scan who told me that it looked like, because I had a 4 cm mass on my left ovary and cysts on my right and an elevated ca125 blood test, I most likely was looking at ovarian cancer and she referred me to a gynecologic oncologist. Not the news I was expecting. I still expected a cyst which would be harmless and not interrupt my life. I went to my friend's house and she confessed she'd been fasting and praying for good results. Well, my story was not going to be that simple.
I have long believed that God loves me and has a plan for me. I have believed that the Jesus whose birth is celebrated at Christmas and death and resurrection at Easter is the Saviour or Messiah foretold in the Old Testament. I have never had my faith tested this way. Nor have I ever so desperately called on Him for peace and healing. I asked my church family to pray, my friends and family to pray.
I had my bone scan and then waited. Again, I had peace as I felt myself being held by Jesus' love and strength. Often my prayer was just, "Jesus..hold me...give me peace." Or "Lord you are my rock, my hiding place, a very present help in this time." I chose to praise Him and felt a very special blessing as I was on the worship team that Sunday. Some friends had lunch then they prayed for me. Oh the peace that carried me.
The results were in...normal. Thank You, God!! I let everyone know and I got my smile back. There had been quiet joy as I waited but felt a renewed sense of hope. If it had spread to my bones, I would have been undone.
My first meeting with my gyne-oncologist was proof yet again that Jesus was walking this journey with me. She was 5'4" with dark hair infused with my fave colour, purple! She spoke honestly with me and had me fill out the pre-op forms. Full hysterectomy, ovaries and all for possible ovarian cancer. Then a call from her office three days later on Monday. Your surgery is booked for this Friday. Wow...talk about rearrange your life!
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